Chapter 7: I Want Divorce.

•AMISH'S POV•

The living room was alive – tea cups clattering, laughters, dicussions and phone calls filling the room. Along with some playful remarks. Tonight was our reception and the prepartions for it started ever since yesterday night.

After the little moment we shared yesterday, the tension between was still fresh but at least less suffocating and hurtful. Then I got carried out by some important office client meetings and by the time I had returned back to room, Irha was already asleep on the couch.

Her breath even, steady and heavy. Her features had softened but I could sense how her shoulders was still hunched like she expects a threat, a storm.

Wrapping her body with the blanket, I slept down beside the couch. I hate how she doesn't even use anything from the room, like she's just a guest in our room.

As the laughters and dicussions carried on, I looked up at Irha who sat across me, her eyes casted on her lap, fingers fidgeting her dupatta. She seemed like she wanted to disappear rather than to be my bride again.

"Irha dear.. Your family said they will directly reach the banquet." My mom informed.

Irha nodded, like it was no big deal for her. Well maybe, it isn't.

I have heard how girls miss her home and family after her wedding, but I never saw her crying ever since we returned home. Not even once.

Maybe she did when I was away. Maybe?

Or maybe it was no big deal since she is used to stay away from them.

"And Amish.." I looked at mom as she continued.

"I have informed the boutique. Take Irha for the reception shopping." Irha parted her lips, like she was about to protest but then she glanced at my dad.

"I have asked them to keep it minimal, don't worry. Just your lehenga and his suit. If you want anything else, feel free to get them." Irha nodded.

My stubborn wife agreed to it so easily. Well she clearly didn't want anything right now. And especially celebrations that she's forced into. That was clear for me.

But if we keep ignoring everything and keep giving space, her cold war between us would never end.

Grabbing my keys, wallet and phone I stepped out with Irha while Azran's teasing trailed off as my dad coughed.

Azran and dad aren't in good terms ever since the rukhsati incident. Neither am I with dad. I have been talking only for the business related stuffs. He has to accept my wife as his daughter in law because that's the reality and that's what I have wanted.

Irha is my wife in every means, even if she didn't even accept it yet.

The ride to the boutique was quiet except for the faint music in the car.

She sat on the passenger seat, eyes focused on the city passing by outside the window.

I didn't speak. I wanted to but I just didn't.

And she didn't neither.

When we reached, I quickly reached to the other side to open the door for her but she was faster than I thought.

Shaking my head, we entered the boutique side by side.

The manager approached us, with warm and polite smile which we returned back like a happy newly wed couple. I wish we were.

"Mrs. Rehman" Irha flinched slightly at the name, her eyes meeting mine by shoulders before pulling away.

"Welcome! We have prepared few selections. Gold, silver, blush and pastel tones. Come this way."

Irha forced a polite smile as I watched her move into the changing room while I sat back on the plush couch. Waiting for her, scrolling through phone to kill time.

Whatever that suits her perfectly, I am taking the matching one for it.

A while later, I heard the door open. She stepped out and stood across me, like a dream straight from heaven.

Her fingers curled into tight fists on her sides. The pastel green bridal lehenga adorned her like it was exactly made for her.

I stood up, my legs walking on its own as I stood infront of her, while she gazed down, her jaws clenched.

"Ma sha Allah," I whispered, my eyes never leaving her. The exquisite lehenga is ravishing on her.

"You look beautiful" I swallowed, not sure whether it sounded right. But she's definitely the lethal of mine.

Her eyes met mine for a brief second before she pulled away, but I stood still freezed by her alluring beauty.

"Irha" I called out gently. She looked up at me, her gaze carrying it's own wars and conflicts.

"Are you comfortable?" No doubt, the lehenga looks gorgeous on her but if she has to compromise on her comforts, that's not happening.

She nodded, whispering low, distant but suprisingly softer so that only I could hear.

"I don't want anything heavy. Everything's already heavy enough for me," I nodded understandingly before asking the manager to bill the lehenga along with a matching sherwani for me while she returned back changed.

"Let's go?" She looked at me confused.

"Your suit?" She questioned making me smile.

"They will send a matching tailored suit," I explained to which her her eyebrows furrowed. Her expressions and eyes speaks alot than her words.

"What if you don't like it? It's your day and if anything is not on your liking espcially your outfit then —" She paused, clicking her tongue and swallowing her voice back.

I smiled at her, she probably spat it out in a flow but ain't it cute? It is. She is.

"I mean.. I am not the bride you —"

"Excuse me, can you show us the suit as well" I interupted the manager who was packing our purchase. I could very well say what she was about to speak of and that's not even a last thing I wanna hear from her.

The manager nodded and first showed us the emerald green suit that we were about to purchase for tonight. I turned towards Irha, tilting my head a little — silently asking her whether she liked it.

The bigger part of me knew she wouldn't respond but I didn't want to leave a chances of what ifs.

When she was silent, I sighed and leaned closer to her, not close enough to invade her personal space not after what had happened yesterday morning.

"Is this okay?" I asked, a small whisper so that only she could hear.

After a brief silence, she replied on the same tone.

"If you like it then okay."

"I am asking for your opinion"

My eyes followed her fingers fidgeting on the sides of her kurti – a habit of hers when she is possibly too nervous or uncomfortable.

I hope that it's not the second one.

"How.. How will I know?" Right, yeah. I nodded and picked the same shaded suit which perfectly combined with her lehenga. No doubts the colour and design, it's gorgeous and they had many more colours but if she had choosed this, it means she likes it right.

So I hope this look good on me. As soon as I entered the trial room, I changed myself into the crisp white shirt and then wore the blazer. Then I stepped out after giving myself a glance in the mirror.

"Irha," I called her out gently who was sitting on the couch and was deeply focused on her phone screen.

I called her again, firmer than before. Startled, she looked up.

"Okay now?" I repeated my question again to which she nodded, avoiding my eyes.

Words angel, words.

Do I look ugly? Handsome? Which I am but tell it nah. Or don't you find me attractive at all?

"Angel,"

She looked up at me, taken aback. I smiled at her confusion and questioned directly this time without beating around the bush.

"How do I look?"

I waited for her patiently while she was contemplating whether she should answer me or not.

"Uhmm.."

"Hmm?"

"It.. It looks good" I grinned, finally a response from her even if it was kinda forced but as far as I have noticed her she wouldn't compliment anyone with lies. Even if this wasn't an actual compliment, a better progress for now.

Nodding, I left to the trial room with a light heart. Suprisingly when I am with her, it feels like she is an introvert and not me.

As we headed out after purchasing, I opened the passenger door for her before she could this time.

She paused and looked at me then at the opened door. Her expression guarded this time as she silently got in.

Once she settled comfortably, I closed the door and took on my seat. Starting the engine, I started driving towards our home. But like always the selfish part of me prayed for traffic while the woman beside me would stay anywhere rather than to stay beside me.

She's just not used to this entire marriage thing, I told to myself. A hopeful consolation with her beside me, keeping aside all my negative what ifs.

As I pressed the brakes since there was traffic, I smiled inwardly while gazing at her through the rear mirror while she was busy gazing outside the window.

Does she like to gaze outside while travelling or is it because it's the only way she can ignore me?

"Irha" She looked at me and as soon as our eyes met, she looked away.

I smiled before continuing, "Your family said they will directly reach the banquet.." I paused as she nodded, her eyes now locked on her lap as her fingers traced the outlines of her kurti.

"Hmm.. You don't have friends here? You know we can invite them too." I genuinely wanted her to feel that this reception is her function, her ceremony rather than just an obligation for her.

I just want her to feel belonged, seen and happy. It is simple as that. Though it might take time to find solutions for every little thoughts, doubts and insecurities of hers in her little mind.

After a brief moment of silence, she spoke with a soft sigh.

"How shall I invite them? That I married to my cousin's fiance because she ran away?"

I looked at her, I knew she still thinks that she is just a replacement for her cousin. But as much as I knew it, it hurts at the way she says it. As I was about to reply her, the traffic light changed into green.

Taking a left, I changed from the path to our house to somewhere else. She was oblivious to it, of course she isn't used to the road to the house.

The next thirty minutes ride to one of the restaurant in the city was silent with unspoken words. After parking the car nearby, we moved inside.

The waiter approached as we took our seats. Though it was time for lunch, I went for a simpler option – veg fried rice while she ordered something quite odd. Cheesecake.

Seriously? At this hour?

"Anything else?" I asked like I was the waiter to which she shaked her head. Damn.

As the waiter left, I broke the silence.

"What do you like Irha?" That was quite awkward and odd to ask from someone's own wife but when I know nothing about her, I guess it's totally fine.

By her reaction, I can tell she's taken aback. Eyes wide, filled with uncertainess and the small nibble of her on her bottom lip. Of course, I didn't even expect myself to ask this too but yeah.

"Food? All." She blurted, confused making me chuckle.

Cute.

"Mhm. Nice. Cheesecakes are your favourite?" I was genuinely curious about it.

She nodded not wanting to overshare. Even if you don't voice, I can hear you angel.

"I mean.. In general, what do you like?"

"I like.." She paused, thinking.

"I like a life of freedom, happiness and soltitude."

I nodded appreciatively. That makes sense though a part of me doubt about soltitude. She is happy around certain people — unfortunately I just don't come under them.

After a brief moment of silence, I continued.

"You know.. You can invite your friends that you got married," I paused observing her reactions but before she could interupt, I resumed.

"To a man called Amish Rehman. A commercial pilot by both profession and passion."

She looked back at me, lips slightly parted as she let a heavy breath.

I smiled leaning back as our orders got served.

As the waiter left with his polite, professional words, I spoke once again.

"You can completely ignore the.." I swallowed before continuing.

"Cousin's fiance part. I am your husband now and I will always be."

I wanted to say more but it was just not the right time. Speaking a lot wasn't my thing but if it could clear her wrong implications of me and our marriage, then why not?

As we dugged into our meals, I glanced at her every now and then while she did her little wiggles after every spoon.

I couldn't help but smile. Irha in her own little bubble is a delight to watch. Like the first time I saw her.

"Let's split the bill." I heard her as the waiter left after placing the bill.

What? That's never happening angel.

"What for? I know you like freedom, and your independence alot but this one's mine to do. What else am I earning for?" That was probably the longest I have ever spoke.

"But —" she trailed off, the little nibbles on her bottom lip back again.

"I don't like it when I am a burden to someone. You don't have to pretend like this entire thing is happening out of your wishes. I can provide for myself. And for all the accomodations and facilities I use in your home, I will pay for that monthly in cash." She stood up and left after placing her cash.

I was hurt or to be precise, I felt my temper boiling up. She can never be my burden. Never.

It feels like we are back to square one no matter what I do. I sighed and tapped my foot on the tiled floor.

As the waiter approached, I replced her money with mine and left after after collecting hers. There is nothing wrong in her paying the bill. It's not about what she or any woman shouldn't do.

But when it's our first meal together, I can pay for it.

And about the nonsense she spoke of paying monthly, what rubbish talks. It hurts though I knew the way she sees me nor our marriage didn't change yet, it still hurts.

She stood outside, her arms crossed around her. As I stepped toward her, she moved ahead and took her seat on the car while I sat on the driver's seat.

The next whole hour of ride to our house was silent. The atmosphere around us was thick with tension and the words she said.

I had planned alot more than this for today. I was selfish and stupid to think she would get along to all my plan.

As soon as I parked the car on the drive way, I expected her to leave.

But she sat right here, her hands gripping the sides of her kurti while she exhaled sharply.

I waited for her to speak, she wanted to say something and she's still conflicting of it.

With a large heavy breath, she dropped her words making me freeze right there. While outside the tinted car, the house seemed vibrant and festive for the reception tonight on the banquet, her words left our relationship that formed yesterday on hanging on thread and pain.

"I want divorce."

She left just like that while I stared at her entering the house, alone. Like it was all that is, my short lived happiness, reality and dream.

•spoiler•

I stood there silently listening to their words from behind the pillar. I knew the more I heard of it, the more it will remind me of my past and hurt me. But I couldn't move.

I have wanted to hear this, a closure that I had asked him the right thing.

"I want divorce" those three words felt right until I said it but something inside me felt odd. Maybe the old part of me, who was nice to everyone. Maybe that was the reason.

How's the chapter? Did any scenes capture your heart or any scenes you wished that I could have done better?